as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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