Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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