i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
