remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
