We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
