if you like me you must not know who I am
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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