Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have already put on my inside pants.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
