People in love make me want to vomit
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I want to fling myself into the sun
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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