Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize