Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
