doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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