Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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