Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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