i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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