fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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