So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
