Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize