when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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