In the future we'll all be gay
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
