Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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