I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
