sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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