Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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