i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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