Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
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Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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