I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
