so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
