i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize