I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
