I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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