I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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