Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
