I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
