if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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