Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

Fav 31 6269 1279
share tweet
(310): View more from California

I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

Fav 15 8145 1195
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(575): View more from New Mexico

We need to talk about our relationship.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

Fav 20 9419 1841
share tweet
(435): View more from Utah

i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

Fav 16 1442 3561
share tweet
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

Hippo gnu deer

Fav 17 5884 1316
share tweet
(848): View more from New Jersey

She said she wanted to have closure sex.

Fav 9 4163 1464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning

Fav 9 929 2328
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.

Fav 2 692 293
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.

Fav 1 201 294
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT