You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
