Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  I want to make a zoo with you.

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  (509): I want to make a zoo with you. http://tfl.nu/c924
  Replies (5) Good night (1407) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa

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  (989): I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa http://tfl.nu/0rxp
  Replies (27) Good night (544) Bad night (3380)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

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  (315): Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win. http://tfl.nu/wty0
  Replies (66) Good night (2005) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  THAT'LL be a good time.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.

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  (401): THAT'LL be a good time. (401): and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word. http://tfl.nu/x8f6
  Replies (18) Good night (3439) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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  (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy
  Replies (20) Good night (958) Bad night (6488)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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  (912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7kq
  Replies (31) Good night (7315) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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  (714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5
  Replies (33) Good night (5783) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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  (812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo
  Replies (15) Good night (7342) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror

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  (818): he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror http://tfl.nu/1dr8
  Replies (14) Good night (6092) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me

  (516): View more from New York

  he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york

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  (516): drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me (516): he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york http://tfl.nu/5sdf
  Replies (3) Good night (2197) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he's just a really huge penis that sells weed

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  (978): he's just a really huge penis that sells weed http://tfl.nu/ammy
  Replies (18) Good night (1644) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .

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  (203): Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes . http://tfl.nu/go9x
  Replies (10) Good night (1237) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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  (917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp
  Replies (24) Good night (567) Bad night (2758)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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  (206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out

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  (941): And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out http://tfl.nu/m8h7
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (204)

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