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she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
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