tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck