How drunk are you??
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes