frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize