I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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