my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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