please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
COCAINE IS GR8