Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize