The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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