And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
