he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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