awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
