there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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