her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
