Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize