I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
