How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
