People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
