You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
