A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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