Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
