mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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