i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
