Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
