Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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