I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
