He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
