you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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