Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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