i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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